I’m overwhelmed.

I’m overwhelmed, in a good way, for the first time in a long time.  I’m not sure I can even put into words the response that I’ve gotten today after finally putting this story out there.  I was flooded with comments, re-posts, private messages, texts, and head nods at work.  Everything from words of encouragement, to “I’ve been there”, to “I know someone who needed this”.  I even had a couple of people tell me they’re going through loss right now and that it’s too raw for them to talk about right now.  My response, GIRL.  That’s been me for the last 15 months, I feel you.  I get it.  It’s all been a lot, in a good way.

Also, some people are even saying I’m funny, which in all honesty is the ultimate goal if we are keeping it all the way real. 🙂

Things I have thought at some point today:

  • At least people understand how/why I’ve not been myself
  • At least people won’t think I’m pregnant because I’m chubby right now
  • At least people won’t think I’m pregnant because I’m not drinking right now
  • At least I don’t have to explain this to more people in person whilst sobbing
  • I really wish I could have a glass of wine
  • My friends, family and network are the BOMB (not new, just confirmed)

The range of emotions I have felt today, include, but are not limited to:

  • Terrified
  • Nauseous
  • Free
  • Relieved
  • Energized
  • Validated
  • Sad
  • Honored
  • Shock
  • A couple of times, annoyed. To be explained later.
  • Loved
  • Empowered
  • Encouraged

If the enormous reaction I received has done anything, it has proven the need for this, or stuff like this.  Our ovaries should not be hiding in the shadows!  Sometimes having some lady cojones, and putting yourself out there, while utterly terrifying, also feels pretty awesome.

Try it, if you want to!

My plan is to try and post twice a week.  Once a week will be a throwback post where I talk a little about what I’ve been through already.  I guess the bonus to being too chicken to put this out for a long time is that I have a stock pile of topics and stories ready.  The other weekly post will be more random; what I’m currently dealing with or just a general topic like one of these beauties I’ve been working on: Resentment 101, If One More Person Tells Me To Relax, How to Unsuccessfully Mask That You’ve Been Crying, and Why Do All of the Shitty Phone Calls Come When You’re at Work?

I hope you’ll subscribe to the blog to stay connected (if you’re into that sort of thing) and feel free to comment as well.  This is for all of us.




One thought on “I’m overwhelmed.

  1. ellaweaver says:

    Hey – Jenn sent me your blog, and while I absolutely hate you’re going through this, I’m glad you have found a place to open up and that you have received such great support since putting yourself out there.

    We tried for 4.5 years before having our first child and there were some pretty dark moments in those years. Having a place to say whatever you want and release all the feels is so helpful.

    I’ll be following along and hoping and praying that it’s only good news from now on. I’m also so sorry for your losses. I hope that your words are healing, both for you and others who are experiencing a similar journey.

    Liked by 1 person

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